Couple shares their story of why they wish they eloped.

“Why I Wish I Eloped” Married Couples Share Their Experiences

As a wedding & elopement photographer, I’ve seen a huge variety of weddings & elopements. Have you ever wondered how other couples get married & what they like, love, or regret about the way they got married? I asked a group of my peers if they liked the way they got married, how they got married, & if anyone had thoughts of “why I wish I eloped”. What kind of wedding is the best fit for you? Some of the answers might surprise you!

Couples Who Were Happy With Their Decision to Elope

“Austin & I self-solemnized on the side of the road after carrying around our license for a week or so! It was totally private. A few months later we had a casual wedding with a ceremony & everything. The only thing I would change that just can’t really be helped is that we have made some really amazing friends in the last two years that I would love to have had there with us.” –Jess

“We kind of eloped, we lived in a big wedding destination. We did a very small wedding, just us & our parents & three friends. We loved it & I’m still glad that we did it that way. We did have a reception on a separate day to celebrate with more friends & family.” –Samantha

“We did just parents & siblings. Best decision I ever made. A few weekends later we did a big bbq style “reception” with everyone & it was perfect! Now I do wish I thought about getting a better photographer but I was young & clueless!” –Cailee

“I eloped too….met my hubby in Maine & never regretted the elopement decision!” –Justyna

“I eloped in Oregon & then we had a backyard bbq with friends & fam a few months later. No regrets at alllll!” –Alyssa

“Eloped & wouldn’t change it at all!” –Dayla

“We eloped by hiring an officiant & going to a pretty park. We had our immediate families with us & were able to use the money saved on a down payment for our house & a two week honeymoon. 10/10 would elope again rather than throw so much money into what is essentially a party.” –Hayley

We eloped & I wouldn’t change a thing! It was perfection! We were able to do the things that were important to us.” –Teri

Read more from this Reddit user about why they eloped before the wedding…

This is your sign to elope before the wedding
byu/thequesadilladilemma inweddingplanning

Couples Who Would Have Changed Something About Their Elopement

“My husband & I eloped & it was the best decision we ever made. We are not people who do well in the spotlight & the whole idea of sharing something so intimate in front of a bunch of people made us really uncomfortable. The only thing I would have done differently would have been to hire a better photographer. The elopement package we got came with a photographer who was fine but they aren’t photos I’m super amazed to show off, which is a bit of a drag.” –Heather

“We eloped on Maui & it was wonderful. Looking back, I would have done a few more “traditional” things. First dance, ordered a cake just for the fun of it, & had our photographer there for more of the day. We did have a day after adventure session on the recommendation of our photographer, which was amazing & something every couple should do!” –Deborah

“We just wanted to get married with our immediate family & best friends somewhere in the mountains. But no one “knew” how to do that so we hired a coordinator & did what everyone else was doing. We had great vendors & still had fun together, because that’s what’s important. But we would have done it differently & once we learned we weren’t alone in eloping!” –Mark

“We had an intimate wedding in the snow back in 2016 with our closest family & friends (about 22 people) & I honestly could have narrowed down who came even more since there were a few “close family members” that we invited out of respect & “not stirring the pot” rather than because we truly wanted them to be there. Now that I know what I know I would have been even more intentional with who was there & not worried about hurting anyone’s feelings.” –Tori

“I eloped 8 years ago before when elopement options were courthouse or Vegas. We did courthouse. I would elope again, definitely no interest in a wedding, but this time probably in another country on an adventure somewhere.” –Gabby

“We had a small wedding of about 50 people near a cabin in the Colorado mountains. If I had to do it over, we’d narrow down the number of people & do a hike to an alpine lake or get married on a beach. And then have a party for family at a different time.” –Stacy

“We eloped! It was amazing but what I wish I did different was get the dress of my dreams. I found THE dress but we were heading off to elope 2 weeks later & BHLDN didn’t have it in my size in stock. I had to wear a $80 dress from an online boutique & I looked good but I wish I had been able to have the dress I initially wanted.” –Rachel

“I had a small destination wedding in Hawaii – about 20 guests, mostly family & 3 close friends. Even with 20, it was a lot of planning but it was also nice. It wasn’t very traditional (got married on the beach by a kahuna) but if I were to get married again, I’d just do the 2 of us & no one else & then have a small dinner with family after a couple of months of travel.” –Paige

“We eloped with just our two best friends. I wish i would have included my mom. Also we eloped in 2016 before adventure elopements were really even a thing.” –Kelly

“It took us a full year to explain to family why we wanted to elope. We had basically planned out an entire chunk of our traditional wedding when we said “screw it”. Wouldn’t change a thing, except I maybe would have loved to do a sunrise adventure just the two of us & then had our sunset ceremony (we had our parents & siblings there for ours).” –Sheena

Couples Who Decided on a Smaller Wedding

“We had an intimate wedding—18 guests most of which were immediate family. It was awesome & I would absolutely recommend it. My two best friends who were there both had similar weddings because of mine. The only thing I wish we had done better was find a better photographer.” –Libby

“I had a wedding with 80 guests & I loved it. We kept things simple & just had a dessert reception. We met at a Beatles tribute band concert, & we were able to have that band play at our reception so it was so fun & meaningful.” –Kelsi

“We had a tiny tiny wedding at my families cabin in the mountains. It was perfect. Small & intimate but still had a few guests. Very casual and lots of tequila.” –Kyla

“We basically did an intimate wedding. It almost felt like an elopement experience could’ve been like because it had a lot of similarities. We got a house in Telluride with our wedding party & their significant others, we were married outside in a remote area of Colorado underneath Mount Sneffels, with about 50 people in total attendance! Our best friends, our closest families, & only a handful of other especially meaningful people. There weren’t many random people & it just felt like family because many of us all knew each other! Weddings or elopements, whatever you call them, I think it’s most important to plan an experience that is ideal for you & your partner!” –Steven

Couples Who Had Thoughts of “Why I Wish I Eloped”

“We wished we would’ve stood our ground & eloped with just immediate family. Our wedding got out of hand & really wasn’t anything like what we wanted.” –Shanna

“We got engaged in Pairs & had our engagement session done there as well. I honestly wanted to elope right then & there because of my family & their drama. I was 35 when we got engaged I just wanted our wedding to be more about us & I was so tired of pleasing everyone else. My husband wanted to have a wedding because his mom missed out on his brother’s big day because they eloped. I did love our wedding, but in retrospect, I would’ve still eloped & saved that money for a house or a month long vacation.” –Andrea

“I had a big wedding for my first marriage because my ex & I had been together since we were teenagers. It was what was expected of us. Our friends & family wanted to celebrate that we “finally” got married & they wanted to party. The day went by so fast & I felt like it was more about the party & trying to please others than it was about the actual marriage. I was stressed out, overwhelmed, & I really didn’t enjoy it because I was so busy trying to make sure everyone else was enjoying it. I shared my experience with my now fiancé & although he has never been married, he agreed that he wants our wedding today to be just about the two of us, without the input of everyone else. We are eloping so that it is less stressful & we will have the ability to solely focus on each other & why we are choosing to commit our lives to one another. I definitely do not feel as stressed as I was when I had been planning my previous wedding & am really looking forward to our elopement. We are eloping in Colorado on a weeklong trip & making that our vacation & mini-moon as well!” –PaMee

“So much bull caca the day of. Would have rather spent the money on an amazing trip to Europe.” –Ashley

“Had a more traditional wedding day. Definitely wish we would have eloped! Mainly, if we were going to deal with bull crap from family, better for them all not to be there, haha!” –Christina

“I wish we would have eloped. I didn’t know anyone at my wedding & we didn’t even have time to write vows to each other because we were soooo busy getting things ready for other people. Plus my family is not civil around each other so I was super stressed about them all being in one place. We are very outdoorsy & adventurous people so an adventurous elopement would have been way better for us & would have meant so much more!” –Bailee

“We had a traditional wedding 9 years ago – before eloping was seen as something other than the broad definition it has today. I wouldn’t say regret is the right word – we had a lovely wedding. But if I were to get married NOW (at this age with how I currently feel) – I would elope somewhere awesome just the two of us (the hubs isn’t quite as adventurous as I am, so I imagine somewhere epic, but not a ton of hiking), then have a huge reception back here in Colorado.” –Savannah

“We were planning wedding 5 years go when eloping was not cool yet. We wanted to elope but found it little hard to plan, we decided to get married with 18 guests. I will forever regret it. It was nice, but I did not feel it was the best day. I wish we would spend the same money on eloping & a honeymoon instead. My mom ruined the day & she was main reason I planned the wedding, because she would never forgive me. And then she ruined it.” –Lucie

“I do wish we would have done an adventure elopement instead. We were in Colorado for the bachelor party doing a week of camping & after driving back to Omaha for the wedding my wife & I took back off to Colorado & stayed in a Pueblo house in Crestone & some Airbnbs in Manitou. Just wish we would have eloped & stayed out there the whole month & then come back a rented out Jams or some nice bar & grill for our friends & family.” –Kyle

“Regret it & wish we would have eloped. There was so much family drama, I mean to the point that I don’t speak to 1/4 of my family now because of it. Don’t get me wrong it was a beautiful day but the drama surrounding it was INSANE. Also the amount of money we spent we could have gone on a 2 month vacation to multiple countries.” –Jessica

I wish we had eloped & then had a party. We had 150 people & planning the whole thing nearly killed me. I got overruled on a lot of things because our parents paid, & the ceremony (the most important part!!) is not what I or my husband wanted. I had an incredible, fun, beautiful, wedding day, but the memories of planning the whole thing really makes it hard to separate the day from the horrible experience of planning it. I would not do the same thing over again.” –Kiley

“100% wish we would have eloped. I don’t even speak to 98% of the people who attended.” –Nicole

“We had a traditional wedding 5 years ago. While I loved my wedding, if I had to do it over again I would have eloped with our families & a few close friends. When I got married adventuring eloping wasn’t even a thing. I love that it has become more popular & available to couples that want to elope.” –Autumn

“Honestly I wish we had just eloped & only invited parents & maybe grandparents & then had an intimate reception. Don’t get me wrong, our wedding day was beautiful, but it was so much stress & so much money for everyone involved.” –Ashley

“I had a traditional wedding. I think I would have eloped first & then do like a reception thing a different day to not care about any pressure & the elopement day is more about our love. I didn’t like how much money was involved, I’d rather just pay for video & photo!” –Cathy

“We had a pretty typical wedding & we’ve always regretted it. For one, the drama & pressure about cracked my marriage before it began thanks to some family. It gave them fuel to use against us for years. I also wasn’t comfortable saying any personal vows so we just repeated after the minister without any mics because I’m not cool with public speaking on a mic. I had about zero emotion the entire day because I’m very private about my emotions & don’t like to show them in a group setting. It was a fun day but it felt super empty & it cost us like $40k which could’ve really helped us either get started in life or perhaps have a crazy adventure in places we had always wanted to see. We ended up privately renewing our vows in Yosemite this past December & it was everything.” –Randi

“Soooo expensive & I realized I don’t like crowds once I got to the front of the audience. I didn’t want to stand up there in front of everyone anymore.” –Jamie

“I wanted to elope so so bad & family pressured us to not. I wish I still had done what I wanted! I wanted to still have family there…just not a traditional walk down the aisle bridesmaid type thing.” –Brooke

“I definitely would have eloped.” –Aubrey

“I wished we eloped!!!!! So badly! No family drama. No crazy price tag. Just an awesome vacation.” –Kerry

I regret my wedding day. Overall, I felt SO disconnected from the day because it just wasn’t who I was as a person. The day wasn’t about who we were as people; what we were all about. I went home after our reception, & I cried.” –Sam

Couples Who Were Happy With Their Decision of a More Traditional Wedding

“At that moment I’ve never heard of eloping besides the going in to get married through a drive-thru. Even then I would still go with the same choice. I wouldn’t have shared that moment & have had that memory of a family member that’s no longer here. I’m very happy with the decision I made at that time.” –Ivette

“I had a big wedding in 2018 & I don’t regret it at all. We plan on doing an adventure vow renewal for the 5 year anniversary, but I loved our big wedding. I had a ball gown & my husband wore a tux & we danced with 200 friends & it was freaking great. I wouldn’t change it. He joined the military & it was likely the last time we’d see all our friends who also graduated from college before we all went off in different directions. There were definitely some stressors, but every person there meant the world to us, & we planned so many intimate details. I loved it.” –Tessa

“We had a decent sized wedding (150 guests) & I don’t think I would have changed that just since every person meant a lot of us. But I did have a couple do a family only ceremony in the mountains & then a big reception the next day & I maybe would have considered that! But then again we love our friends too much so who knows.” –Molly

“We had a traditional wedding with about 150 guests. We don’t regret anything. Got married outside under an epic 150-year-old tree. Breakfast for dinner! We had a relaxing honeymoon right afterwards in Saint Lucia.” –Emily

“I really wanted to elope, but my husband did not because of very close family member with health issues. We had a blast during our wedding, so we were happy. Now we have an excuse to renew our vows somewhere epic with fancy outfits.” –Shanna

“I wouldn’t call our wedding traditional but it wasn’t an elopement but it was seriously perfect for us! We got married in the Texas hill country (we are from Austin) & all our guests stayed in yurts & cabins on the property. We had a ceremony with 100+ guests & we danced all night under the stars. It felt so intimate & us while still having so many people we love there! I’d do it the exact same way if i had to do it again!” –Emily

Couples with Mixed Feelings About Their Wedding

“Huuuuge wedding! Like 300 guests, bridal party of 12….there was so much drama. So much so that I didn’t enjoy the day. All in all, I’m glad we didn’t elope. My husband is Italian & has a huge family, & we were married on his family’s ranch. We built our head tables out of old wood from the corrals his great grandfather had built, & that together we had rebuilt. We did 90% of the work ourselves & it was beautiful. I have amazing pictures & video from the day…that even though I didn’t enjoy because of all the drama…I still look back fondly on it because it was beautiful. It was something that we did together. I just wish the day had been more about us. My husband really loved it though. Everything he’d ever imagined.” –Amanda

“We considered a micro wedding for a hot second, but the thought of the people we would have to leave out that we wanted to celebrate with got us back on track for the big 120 guest wedding. I loved my wedding day though, I wish I could relive it in slo-mo.” –Leah

“The biggest reason we chose not to elope was that our grandparents wouldn’t have been able to come, especially my great-grandparents. They were 91 & 93 at the time, & their last dance together was actually at our wedding. He passed away 6 months later. So that’s my main reason for not regretting our decision to have a traditional wedding! However, the amount of money that wasn’t spent in ways that it probably should’ve been (or saved instead lol) is probably more than I’d like to know. And honestly, I don’t feel like we had crazy amounts of fun that day because it was filled with so many people that it was challenging for us to focus on time with each other. I do regret that aspect.” –Alison

“I tried to convince my husband to elope but he has a large, very close-knit family who wouldn’t have forgiven him. Compromise I guess.” –Lindsay

“My husband & I wanted to elope to Iceland. BUT we were the first to get married on either side so grandparents really wanted to be apart of it. We had a log cabin wedding in the woods & for being traditional it was nice. My heart is still in Iceland & we plan on doing a vow renewal there whenever the time is right.” –Aleah

Does an elopement sound like it is the right thing for you? Or maybe an intimate wedding would be a better fit? Really take time to think things over & learn from others. You need to make the right choice for YOU, not for others. Your wedding day can look like whatever you want it to be. Check out the blog for more helpful elopement tips & read more about how to elope.

Do you have a wedding or elopement story to share? Drop it in the comments below!


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